Writing and Developing Characters (Portfolio Project Post #13)

 Hi Glorp. I know this is a blog, and your just a reader. But, hold me back because if I get misgendered one more time I might blow up the moon. 

(kendall. ♱, n.d.)

We all felt like something was off with our script, but we didn't know what. So, we went up to Mrs. Stoklosa for help. Her feedback was really helpful.

In the script, I never explained that Tom was the plant that Dahlia keeps in her room. T Stok said we should probably point that out, since we don't mention it anywhere. I thought everyone named their plant, and so I assumed the jump wasn't too big. But my teammates seemed to agree so we decided to have Dahlia make a label for the plant.

Rewritten part of the script

Our biggest critique, however, was our conflict scene. Since it was my first time writing such a long script, I didn't realize how stupid the argument was. Stoklosa made a good point in saying that our argument scene lacked depth. In other words, why did I make them fight over a guy? This is a hypophora, I'm going to answer my own question now. I didn't develop the characters enough to use them in a way that made sense for the meaning of our story. 

Stok suggested that the conflict scene shouldn't be conflict, instead it should be more of a confrontation. Melia could be worried that Dahlia is overworking herself. I agree, but since our story is about growth, I want to show growth in both characters, not just Dahlia. I think I still want them to fight, just now it's  about Dahlia being overworked and Melia being upset she's being ignored so often.

Before:

After:

I had to cut out a few lines as you can probably tell. Which, I'll be honest, writing this was a lot easier than writing the conflict the first time. The topic was something I'm far more familiar with, and I'm currently grieving a few things right now, so it came easily to me. I like this scene a lot more that the last one, but of course the script isn't finalized yet. Some things might change.

CITES:

kendall. ♱ [@hotpsychopathic]. (n.d.). The horrors persist but so do I [Image pin]. Pinterest. Retrieved March 16, 2026, from https://www.pinterest.com/pin/781304235402302934/